Jay Bilzerian; easily one of the most underestimated and misunderstood characters of the series. Yes, he does act like a total jerk at times. But most of his behavior he seems to have learned from his highly dysfunctional family. And there are certainly times where we’ve found ourselves feeling bad for the poor guy.
Jay is a perfect example of toxic masculinity at times. But he’s also could become the poster child for abuse and neglect. After all, when was the last time you saw his parents…well, actually parenting? We’re going to guess the answer is never.
With that complexity in mind, here are 6 times we’ve felt bad for Jay’s character…and 5 times we’ve hated him.
This article contains spoilers for Big Mouth Season 3, so consider yourself warned.
Time We Felt Bad: When His Friends Were Busy Making Fun of Him
Remember that episode where Jessie and Matthew had a blast making fun of Jay? It happened when they were all teamed up for a science project. Admittedly, Jessie and Matthew got a lot of practice coming up with subtle sass, but at what cost?
You see, Jay isn’t exactly the type of person to understand when somebody is giving him an underhanded compliment. Or when he’s being mocked by his friends. So naturally, he was completely unaware of their treatment towards him.
Time We Hated Him: Every Time He Quoted His Father’s Commercials
What is there to say about Jay’s dad, other than UGH. That guy is a classic creep, through and through. He makes lawyers look bad. Actually, he makes scumbags look bad too. And his commercials sound like they’re the absolute worst.
And that is why we really hate it when Jay quotes his father’s horrid commercials. If that wasn’t bad enough, the fact that Jay would cite them like they were rules to live by is…painful to put it mildly.
Time We Felt Bad: His Idea of Food
Think back to all the times that Jay has eaten at the Birches house. Each and every time, he was so extremely impressed with the good on their table. Not because of the quality of the cooking (though we’re sure it was that as well) but because of the fact that there was food on the table.
Jay’s family has never been the type to provide for him. And that includes making sure he’s eating a healthy and balanced diet. So spending time at the Birches is really a wonderful (and presumably healthy) experience for the poor kid.
Time We Hated Him: The Way He Treats the Girls
Jay has an awful habit of talking down to and oversexualizing the girls in his class. We’d like to put the blame of this behavior on his parents (well, father mostly) and brothers. But at a certain point, Jay has to own up to his own behavior.
In the earlier seasons, in particular, Jay hadn’t yet started growing as a person. And thus some of the things he said were especially awful. Though Season 3 was a reminder of how much father he has to go; his comments during the girls’ protests were worthy of a slap or two.
Time We Felt Bad: Home Alone
In Season 3 of Big Mouth, Jay found himself in a somewhat iconic, if horrifying situation. His entire family had left him home alone, while they went off on vacation. Unlike Kevin’s adventures, Jay’s time home alone was nearly fatal, thanks to the fact that they were fumigating the house (which we imagine was sorely needed).
But that’s not the only reason why we felt bad about this situation. For one thing, his parents didn’t seem to care about the situation. For another, Jay didn’t have a house full of food, or his father’s credit card to run around with. And finally, Jay just didn’t deserve this. No kid does.
Time We Hated Him: His Toxic Masculinity
Jay, like most kids his age, tends to emulate the behaviors of his elders. And that means he’s a toxic little jerk at times. It’s part of the reason why his character has been so conflicted at times since toxic masculinity doesn’t mix well with trying to understand one’s sexuality.
Thanks to this behavior, sometimes we really just can’t stand the things that come out of Jay’s mouth. He’s a pretty classic example of the stereotype on more than one occasion. We’re hoping this is something he’ll get better about with time. We’re rooting for you, Jay!
Time We Felt Bad: Every Time We See His Brothers
We can all agree that Jay’s father is the worst. But his brothers aren’t much better. Kurt and Val are the stereotypical dudebros, and they treat Jay pretty poorly. Jay takes their behavior in stride, which arguably makes the whole situation that much sadder.
We’ve seen the way they treat Jay; the verbal and physical abuse, the egging bad behaviors on, and the bulling of his friends. And we’re left wondering how these two haven’t ended up in some sort of juvie program yet. Oh right, their dad is a lawyer.
Time We Hated Him: When He Sold His Meds
Jay has never been a good student, but it took Mrs. Birch to realize that something more might be going on there. She took him to the doctor, and got him on some meds in hopes that it would help him in school. This is actually pretty awesome of her, especially when you consider the fact that this isn’t even her son we’re talking about.
And then Jay just turned around and started selling his medication to the rest of the school. Not only was this pretty horrible for the students, but it was a slap in the face for everything the Birches had done for him up until this point. And it was short-sighted as well, for a lot of obvious reasons.
Time We Felt Bad: When Nick’s Parents Had to Step Up
Recall earlier in this article, when we talked about how Jay was left home alone? Well, it was the Birches who stepped up to take care of the hungry little guy. And they did so without any hesitation. Jay’s surprised reaction to being treated well is pretty painful.
And we adore that they opted to keep him on, even after his family came home. There’s got to be plenty of fans out there that had been rooting for an adoption or something more permanent, right? Because Jay could use a family like theirs.
Time We Hated Him: When He Chose His Brothers Over The Birches
Unfortunately, Jay didn’t end up staying with the Birches. And it wasn’t because of the Birches that he left (though Nick would have been happy to see him go). You see, Jay made the decision to leave the Birches in order to be with his family again. We know, family is everything. But the Birches treated him more like a son than his real family ever did.
That is until Jay started selling drugs. Apparently that was all it took to gain respect from his family. We probably don’t need to delve into all of the horrible things about that entire situation.
Time We Felt Bad: When He Was Made to Feel Excluded
For all three seasons of Big Mouth, Jay has been struggling with his sexuality. After seeing one of his new classmates come out as pansexual, he felt a bit more comfortable about doing so himself. Granted, he did partially do it hoping to get the same
amount of adoration as she was. But instead, Jay was met with ridicule and pessimism.
It turns out, most of his classmates didn’t believe him, or just didn’t care. And those the one pansexual character heavily implied that he didn’t have a right to feel that way, since he was just bi. It wasn’t the support Jay needed, and it left a sour taste in our mouths.
